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2012 - My not so humble review |
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Written by BooYa
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Tuesday, 17 November 2009 03:39 |
2012...
There has never been a more disastrous use of 200 million dollars in the history
of entertainment. Roland Emerick seems very intent on doing his best to follow
10,000 BC with something not only worse, but infinitely more terrible. From the
very beginning you have the sense that you are about to go down a path that you
will never fully make it back from. A piece, or more if you're unlucky, of your
soul will be left behind, weeping, pared from you with the sharp blade of ultimate
sorrow after this film.
This horridly overfunded visual orgy of special effects fails to ever offer much of
a story or even the sense of closeness to the characters that most modern dramas
strive to establish. If at any point Mr. Emerick attempted to tell a story, or
give depth to what we were seeing on-screen, he failed to ever establish any
traction. We learn that the main character (played by the less-than-believable
uber hero John Cusack) is a professionally underperforming writer, that his daugter's
only contribution to the movie is that she still at 7 wets herself, and that noone
could ever be more capable of outrunning armageddon than him...Next, enter armageddon.
The ensuing formula to the storyline is: Armageddon chases writer, nearest vehicle
whether it be limosuine, camper, small airplane etc, helps writer outrun armageddon,
writer catches breath, and repeat. Through all of this we are treated to some nicely
done special effects moments of heinous destruction. Yes that is one of two tally
marks on the 'positive' column for this movie, the other being that the final credits
have rolled.
If a below average aspiring teenage film director was able to talk someone out of 200
million dollars, and make a film with it...it would look a lot like this. If, as a fan
of filmmaking you prefer an approach that skips strong plot, skips plot development,
skips substance, skips character endearment, and focuses all funding on special effects...
you will absolutely love this movie. Otherwise, spare yourself the humiliation of being
one of the anecdotal x-amount of people who wasted the money.
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The sweet love of extremely late term abortion |
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Written by BooYa
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Wednesday, 22 July 2009 07:59 |
So the new uproar with the House leadership's health care bill is that it
contains a "hidden mandate" that would allow taxpayer dollars to be used to
pay for abortions. This bill does not mention at all abortion, and though
supporters claim that this makes the bill neutral, opponents say that this
lack of mention is precisely what leaves the door open for opportunity.
Without specific language expressly forbidding the public coverage from
covering abortions, this group of renegade democrats say that these
mini manslaughters would undoubtedly be funded and that this will negate
any chance for their support. With Mrs. Pelosi at the helm, this ridiculous
minority of metaphorical womb-huggers will have little support from the
rank-and-file elite of their particular side of the aisle. We can assume
that had it been Al Gore at the helm, he would have deftly blamed global
warming on unborn babies and abortion would not only be a right but it would
become mandatory before the next full moon.
I see a completely different solution to todays political dissention and
general calamity of decency within all American political bodies. Marrying
the goverment body and abortion in a way never seen before. I propose we are,
as Americans, given the right to abort the very politicians that spread
through our daily lives like a terrible uncurable virus.
With a simple majority, a half plus one popular vote, we could all choose a
better representation of what values and choices are truly desired by us.
In this scenario, liberals would have had their wish years ago and run
the intensely vile George W. Bush from office. They would have had their
opportunity to cure the ills of our country and likely the world...failed
and the cycle would have naturally run itself albeit much faster than normal.
Though conservatives cannot yet claim that this system would rid their lives
of the ever-smiling, shit pile of glee that is the Obamessiah, they can
take comfort that here in this third week of July 2009, his approval rating
is exactly one percentage point below that of his predecessor at the same
point in his tenure as talking head for the American people. Right there
just below good ol' George W. Somewhere below George Sr. even.
Though in this day and age every politician who was within the acceptable
timeframe of allowable abortion would undoubtedly be coat-hangered to death,
the option would be sweet sweet poison to many, drank willingly and wildly
for the ironic sake of self preservation.
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The passion of the Black Jesus |
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Written by BooYa
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Friday, 07 August 2009 08:40 |
Everyone, as we're told, is human and therefore will have shortcomings, or failings, or even inabilities.
Throughout history people have wanted to point at others and see them as perfect though. Whether it was
Lennon, Reagan, Kennedy, Jordan, or Oprah, people have always wanted someone to look to as the modern messiah.
Some bask in this and use the opportunity to marinate themselves in the glory until the inevitable
messianic complex develops. Some fight it or deny it trying to keep their bearings and personality intact.
Most often these people have been musicians, or athletes, but more recently we've collectively, albeit
likely unconsciously, decided that our current Godlike adoration belongs with a politician. Mr Obama, the
Obamessiah, is just the man for such a job. Just the person our collectively frail psyche needs to look to
for perfect leadership of hope. We eat and eat greedily from that buffet of false hope feeding as if we're
starved. We walk along as lemmings willfully betraying our ingrained need for individuality and self
importance in favor of the high we get from feeling love and adoration for whomever we decide to errantly
throw it upon.
I ask now, rhetorically, what happens when that super duper image of perfection starts to fade to us. When
we start to lose our false impression. When we see through the dream we've insisted upon seeing and are
shown the reality that our object of desire is just as human and real as the rest of us.
I know that many were ready for change, that many needed the metaphorical savior to change our outlook
on life, yet why have they insisted upon foregoing reality for the sake of that icky warm feeling?
A lesson that has been repeated many times and will be repeated many more. We cannot falsify reality
and expect anything less than disappointment. Our commander-in-chief, the Black Jesus himself, is
walking that path of disappointment, now, that we all set him upon, and has no other option at this point
than to turn his sights to the next task: fail as intended.
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 18 August 2009 04:53 |
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Fuck the starving artists... |
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Written by MrEMann
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Wednesday, 22 July 2009 05:09 |
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Afterall, do you really want ANOTHER velvet sofa portrait of some nighttime scene alleged to be taken straight out of the Mexican desert or absolutely generic snowy mountains? I didn't think so. Instead, lets support the starving writers. They have much more to offer: laughs, tears, and any other of a full range of emotions. Here are just a few of the Starving Writers who need our help: Zachary Steele - His first book was recently published under the title of Anointed: The Passion of Timmy Christ, CEO. The teachings, acts, and life of Jesus Christ have been well chronicled. But the writings of the Gospels failed to detail the origins of the organization he formed after his resurrection, which was meant to spread his Word to the world. For more than two thousand years, The Christ Corporation has represented his Will --and anointed a new CEO and Christ every thirty-three years, to serve as the face of the company and the successor to the founder, Jesus Christ. Now, one man is ready to bring it all down. Timothy Webb, The Christ Corporation's newest CEO and Christ, not only doesn't want the job--he doesn't understand it.
Trapped between the exquisitely tailored image of Christ and the abandoned altruism of his long-forgotten youth, he finds his last hope of resurrecting the true image of faith and defeating an Anti-Christ bent on ruling the world is an unlikely alliance with the misrepresented angel known as Satan. Visit the website: http://www.thechristcorporation.com/ You can purchase it at Amazon, or have your favorite local bookseller order it. I'm sure that Zach would love you for it. Next up is Lewis Shiner Lew has written more than a couple of novels, each a gem and well worth the time to track down any of his books. Some are available on Amazon. If you look around, you'll find them. It is well worth the search. Check out Lew's other stuff at Fiction Liberation Front. Nicole Del Sesto Another newcomer to the arena, Nicole's All Encompassing Trip was a delicious romp and happened to cure me of my coffee allergy. If you have read it, you'll understand. Meet Nikki Nasco: 40, single, obsessive, neurotic, unorthodox and unexpectedly fun. She is having a very normal day. She goes to the gym, she calls her mother, and she stresses out about not having her Top Five desert island CD s selected. Meet Amber Lawson: 35, lesbian, driven, aerobics instructor. She too is having a very normal day. She attends law school, teaches Boot Camp and receives a phone call from Nikki, the purpose of which she never fully understands, but knows there is a deserted island involved. And then the darkness comes... In a world where coffee is no longer available, the only television shows are reality TV re-runs, and the animals are talking back, Nikki, Amber and a singing Coyote in a do-rag are out to restore the light (and hopefully prevent Nikki s eyes from being stolen by an Irish midget). Normal is missing. Reward. Robert Tacoma Robert's Key series is both fantastic and fast. The stories are fun and funny. General idea: Key Weird - A different look at Florida.
What do you do when you lose your possum ranch, all your money, and the Dalton Gang is on your trail? If you?re Taco Bob, you head for Florida and end up in tropical Key West hanging out with a collection of colorful and crazy locals, fishing for grunts, and avoiding Daltons.
But there?s never a shortage of trouble in paradise. A sexy cult leader hits town looking for a golden idol she is convinced holds psychic powers. She teams up with the aging owner of the local topless bar, who is looking for a fortune in Spanish treasure stolen from him years earlier.
Taco Bob?s idyllic tropical lifestyle comes to an abrupt end and he finds himself lost in the Everglades swamps. But he?s not as alone as he thinks, not with a hot cult leader, a cranky treasure hunter, and a mysterious old hermit in the neighborhood. All of Robert's books are available from Amazon. If I missed anyone of importance, I do apologize. Feel free to plug your favorite writers in the comments.
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