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The passion of the Black Jesus PDF Print E-mail
Written by BooYa   
Friday, 07 August 2009 08:40
Everyone, as we're told, is human and therefore will have shortcomings, or failings, or even inabilities.  
Throughout history people have wanted to point at others and see them as perfect though.  Whether it was
Lennon, Reagan, Kennedy, Jordan, or Oprah, people have always wanted someone to look to as the modern messiah.
Some bask in this and use the opportunity to marinate themselves in the glory until the inevitable
messianic complex develops.  Some fight it or deny it trying to keep their bearings and personality intact.
Most often these people have been musicians, or athletes, but more recently we've collectively, albeit
likely unconsciously, decided that our current Godlike adoration belongs with a politician. Mr Obama, the
Obamessiah, is just the man for such a job. Just the person our collectively frail psyche needs to look to
for perfect leadership of hope.  We eat and eat greedily from that buffet of false hope feeding as if we're
starved.  We walk along as lemmings willfully betraying our ingrained need for individuality and self
importance in favor of the high we get from feeling love and adoration for whomever we decide to errantly
throw it upon.  
I ask now, rhetorically, what happens when that super duper image of perfection starts to fade to us. When
we start to lose our false impression. When we see through the dream we've insisted upon seeing and are
shown the reality that our object of desire is just as human and real as the rest of us.  
I know that many were ready for change, that many needed the metaphorical savior to change our outlook
on life, yet why have they insisted upon foregoing reality for the sake of that icky warm feeling?
A lesson that has been repeated many times and will be repeated many more. We cannot falsify reality
and expect anything less than disappointment.  Our commander-in-chief, the Black Jesus himself, is
walking that path of disappointment, now, that we all set him upon, and has no other option at this point
than to turn his sights to the next task: fail as intended.
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Last Updated on Tuesday, 18 August 2009 04:53
 
The sweet love of extremely late term abortion PDF Print E-mail
Written by BooYa   
Wednesday, 22 July 2009 07:59
So the new uproar with the House leadership's health care bill is that it
contains a "hidden mandate" that would allow taxpayer dollars to be used to
pay for abortions.  This bill does not mention at all abortion, and though
supporters claim that this makes the bill neutral, opponents say that this
lack of mention is precisely what leaves the door open for opportunity.
Without specific language expressly forbidding the public coverage from
covering abortions, this group of renegade democrats say that these
mini manslaughters would undoubtedly be funded and that this will negate
any chance for their support. With Mrs. Pelosi at the helm, this ridiculous
minority of metaphorical womb-huggers will have little support from the
rank-and-file elite of their particular side of the aisle.  We can assume
that had it been Al Gore at the helm, he would have deftly blamed global
warming on unborn babies and abortion would not only be a right but it would
become mandatory before the next full moon.
I see a completely different solution to todays political dissention and
general calamity of decency within all American political bodies.  Marrying
the goverment body and abortion in a way never seen before.  I propose we are,
as Americans, given the right to abort the very politicians that spread
through our daily lives like a terrible uncurable virus.
With a simple majority, a half plus one popular vote, we could all choose a
better representation of what values and choices are truly desired by us.
In this scenario, liberals would have had their wish years ago and run
the intensely vile George W. Bush from office.  They would have had their
opportunity to cure the ills of our country and likely the world...failed
and the cycle would have naturally run itself albeit much faster than normal.
Though conservatives cannot yet claim that this system would rid their lives
of the ever-smiling, shit pile of glee that is the Obamessiah, they can
take comfort that here in this third week of July 2009, his approval rating
is exactly one percentage point below that of his predecessor at the same
point in his tenure as talking head for the American people.  Right there
just below good ol' George W.  Somewhere below George Sr. even.
Though in this day and age every politician who was within the acceptable
timeframe of allowable abortion would undoubtedly be coat-hangered to death,
the option would be sweet sweet poison to many, drank willingly and wildly
for the ironic sake of self preservation.
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Six degrees of liberal fault PDF Print E-mail
Written by BooYa   
Thursday, 16 July 2009 08:33
Six degrees of Kevin Bacon is a book and game based on the concept of what is called the small world phenomenon
and assumes that anyone in hollywood can be linked to Kevin Bacon within Six steps.  I propose that the same idea
can be applied to placing blame onto the cumulative which I refer to as 'liberals'
In modern american politics liberals have become the exact opposite of what they intend and profess to be.
Liberals in their most basic beliefs, claim to favor individual liberty and oppose restrictions on liberty
whether from religion, government regulation, or class structure.  Todays American liberal is what is most
accurately called a 'social liberal', one which supports social programs, progressive taxes and a very broad
concept of what is a right.  A very large proportion of these social liberals take this further, to a point
where the majority are experiencing an erosion of rights so that the 'minority' or in most cases 'the ones
who cry loudest' can enjoy the things they want.  
Classic Liberalism was once defined by statements from the likes of Henry David Thoreau
- "that government is best which governs least." Though now we have more of the build it bigger because the
idiots cannot do it themselves approach from our elected liberals.
Taking the time to spell it all out here would be quite ridiculous, but it would only be fair to give a
bit of a push by way of example, and not even the easy one of Al Gore causing global warming so that he
could valiantly break the news to us in mock despair.
Darfur... The civil war in Darfur is clearly the fault of liberals.
1.The civil war in Darfur is an ethnic war as opposed to a religious war as previous wars in the region..
2.Liberals find ethnicity a much more acceptable topic than religion.
3.When the conflict began on Feb 2 2003, liberals were still stinging from Republican gain of control in the US Senate
4.Liberals needed a sufficient distraction from their own excessive idiocy.
5.Liberals created a civil war in a foreign country.
Infallable logic. Ridiculous political ideology. Whatever the problem, be assured you can find the connection
to why it is the fault of the liberals.
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Last Updated on Saturday, 18 July 2009 05:40
 
Fuck the starving artists... PDF Print E-mail
Written by MrEMann   
Wednesday, 22 July 2009 05:09

Afterall, do you really want ANOTHER velvet sofa portrait of some nighttime scene alleged to be taken straight out of the Mexican desert or absolutely generic snowy mountains?  I didn't think so.

 Instead, lets support the starving writers.  They have much more to offer: laughs, tears, and any other of a full range of emotions.  

 Here are just a few of the Starving Writers who need our help:

 Zachary Steele - His first book was recently published under the title of Anointed: The Passion of Timmy Christ, CEO. 

 

The teachings, acts, and life of Jesus Christ have been well chronicled. But the writings of the Gospels failed to detail the origins of the organization he formed after his resurrection, which was meant to spread his Word to the world. For more than two thousand years, The Christ Corporation has represented his Will --and anointed a new CEO and Christ every thirty-three years, to serve as the face of the company and the successor to the founder, Jesus Christ.

Now, one man is ready to bring it all down.

Timothy Webb, The Christ Corporation's newest CEO and Christ, not only doesn't want the job--he doesn't understand it.
Trapped between the exquisitely tailored image of Christ and the abandoned altruism of his long-forgotten youth, he finds his last hope of resurrecting the true image of faith and defeating an Anti-Christ bent on ruling the world is an unlikely alliance with the misrepresented angel known as Satan.

 

Visit the website: http://www.thechristcorporation.com/

 

You can purchase it at Amazon, or have your favorite local bookseller order it. I'm sure that Zach would love you for it.  

 

Next up is Lewis Shiner

Lew has written more than a couple of novels, each a gem and well worth the time to track down any of his books.

 

Some are available on Amazon. If you look around, you'll find them.  It is well worth the search.  Check out Lew's other stuff at Fiction Liberation Front. 

 

Nicole Del Sesto

Another newcomer to the arena, Nicole's All Encompassing Trip was a delicious romp and happened to cure me of my coffee allergy.  If you have read it, you'll understand.

Meet Nikki Nasco: 40, single, obsessive, neurotic, unorthodox and unexpectedly fun. She is having a very normal day. She goes to the gym, she calls her mother, and she stresses out about not having her Top Five desert island CD s selected.

Meet Amber Lawson: 35, lesbian, driven, aerobics instructor. She too is having a very normal day. She attends law school, teaches Boot Camp and receives a phone call from Nikki, the purpose of which she never fully understands, but knows there is a deserted island involved.

And then the darkness comes...

In a world where coffee is no longer available, the only television shows are reality TV re-runs, and the animals are talking back, Nikki, Amber and a singing Coyote in a do-rag are out to restore the light (and hopefully prevent Nikki s eyes from being stolen by an Irish midget).

Normal is missing. Reward.

 

Robert Tacoma

Robert's Key series is both fantastic and fast.  The stories are fun and funny.  General idea:

Key Weird - A different look at Florida.
What do you do when you lose your possum ranch, all your money, and the Dalton Gang is on your trail? If you?re Taco Bob, you head for Florida and end up in tropical Key West hanging out with a collection of colorful and crazy locals, fishing for grunts, and avoiding Daltons.
But there?s never a shortage of trouble in paradise. A sexy cult leader hits town looking for a golden idol she is convinced holds psychic powers. She teams up with the aging owner of the local topless bar, who is looking for a fortune in Spanish treasure stolen from him years earlier.
Taco Bob?s idyllic tropical lifestyle comes to an abrupt end and he finds himself lost in the Everglades swamps. But he?s not as alone as he thinks, not with a hot cult leader, a cranky treasure hunter, and a mysterious old hermit in the neighborhood.

 All of Robert's books are available from Amazon.

 

If I missed anyone of importance, I do apologize.  Feel free to plug your favorite writers in the comments.

 

 

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Tuner Kids PDF Print E-mail
Written by BooYa   
Saturday, 04 July 2009 07:44
So I have this perverse fascination with helping the kids who overestimate the speed
of their cars to find out how disappointing their lives really are. Hi-flo exhaust does
not a street racer make, but in the small-yet-wishes-to-be-bigger city which I call home,
the tuner kids do not realize that sounding fast doesnt make you fast.  Another thing
they dont realize is that when they, in all their misguided glory, try to make a start
from a stoplight into a competitive driving exercise - that hi flo muffler that sounds
loud yet offers so little performance - lets you hear just how badly they are at running
through the gears of their own car. Now I drive a V8 and that itself does not mean that
I can outperform any small import car.  It is a mid 90's T-Bird LX, no not even the
supercharged option.  It is low mileage and kept care of, minus my reluctance to
actually wash the exterior.  Yet, it has the appearance of a boring sedan and even better
yet, there is at most times a carseat in my backseat, to further drive in the dagger
to the unsuspecting tuner kid.
Tonight I pull up to a stoplight and look over to the car beside me when I hear loudly
played music, tinny with a lack of represented lower frequencies.  All 4 windows are
completely open allowing the music it's full ability to be shared with others outside
of his vehicle.  I smile politely and look forward again, thinking to myself how sad
it is that Hispanic kids with a slight build can disgrace themselves with B-List rap
played overly loud on such a weak system.  When the light turns green the previously
discussed overbored exhaust system immediately alerts me to this young man's intentions.
His less-than-impressive Mitsubishi Eclipse takes off like a tired old horse with epilepsy.
My immediate reaction is to keep pace with him, humiliating him in not only his inadequacy
but also in my ability to taunt him with a precise matching of his speed.
As we both stop simultaneously at the next light he smiles over at me, barely a brow over
the ledge of the door and raises the volume on the music to a distorted level.  A matching
smile on my lips took place as I realized I could shatter that last remaining hope for his
need to show some perceived superiority.  I calmly raised my system to a disorienting
volume as I watched his smile fade.  Not lost on his Hispanic self was the fact that the
white boy looking at him was now shaking his underperforming Mitsubishi with deafeningly
loud reggaeton.
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