Looney Bin
Stay out of my way PDF Print E-mail
Written by MrEMann   
Friday, 16 April 2010 19:02

There is an inherent need in this country to speak our minds and voice our displeasure with those things we are unhappy with.  It is one of our legally protected rights in this fine nation.

I got that.  Speak your mind, join together with like-minded people and make your voice louder.  What ever floats your boat.  All is well and good until...

YOU BEGIN TO IMPEDE PROGRESS

If you want to protest, do so.  If you have something to say, say it.  Do not get in my way while you do.  Do not cause such pandemonium that I cannot get from point A to point B without nearly running you, or one of your idiot brethren, over.

Don't get me wrong, I certainly hope that your voice is heard and that you get what you want out of the experience.  If you are physically blocking the path of others, then you are forcing your hand.  Your opinion stops meaning anything, and I could care less about what you think. I am more inclined to join the fray against you, simply because you are too stupid to stay out of the way of progress.

I'm not talking about progress as an Idea.  That progress needs people like you.  It needs a fire built and stoked under it.  I'm talking about REAL progress, the kind that takes you places.  Physical progress.

Say what you want to say, just keep out of my path while you do.

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Mondays Suck PDF Print E-mail
Written by MrEMann   
Tuesday, 30 June 2009 01:37

(2:06:49 PM) MEM: you would think, with unlimited technology in the universe we have, that someone would have fixed that by now


(2:08:05 PM) Dude: it's not high up on the list of priorities.

(2:10:17 PM) MEM: its at LEAST if not MORE important than their current list of priorities. cure cancer and aids my ass. FIX MONDAYS SO THEY AREN"T SHITTY. the poor and hungry will appreciate that far more

(2:10:34 PM) Dude: *nods* I'm in agreement

(2:15:37 PM) MEM: hey! YOU"RE in college looking for an exceptionally positive direction to take your learning and career. :D

(2:17:05 PM) Dude: Mondays still suck for me occasionally.

(2:18:16 PM) MEM: but think of the fame, prestige and pussy you could get if YOU were the one who developed the universal "antidote" to the Sucky Ass Monday (TM)

(2:19:17 PM) Dude: it's tackling the universal solution that's hard.

(2:19:57 PM) MEM: if it were easy, some bum would have already figured it out

(2:20:21 PM) MEM: seeing as bums are lazy and all that

(2:20:45 PM) Dude: very true

(2:22:15 PM) MEM: do you want some uber liberal obama person to figure it out? then non suck mondays will be filled with tofu and hippie hugs

(2:22:17 PM) MEM: ?

(2:22:34 PM) Dude: lol

(2:22:44 PM) Dude: hippie hugs? how are those different than normal hugs?

(2:22:51 PM) Dude: do I smell like a hippie afterwards?

(2:23:58 PM) MEM: hippies are greasy and smell of patchouli. do you want to have that hug you?

(2:24:15 PM) Dude: fuck no!

(2:24:28 PM) MEM: and they don't bathe either. they just add more patchouli

(2:25:09 PM) Dude: I hate patchouli. here's a good idea: "save the planet: burn a hippie"

(2:27:19 PM) Dude: actually, I'd rather run down hippies with an SUV or Hummer or something.

(2:30:10 PM) Dude: that way I don't have to deal with the smell of burning hippie. plus, they'll probably even lay down in the street to try and prevent me from driving such a vehicle.

(2:33:34 PM) MEM: making it way easy for you to do your job. See? Its thinking like that which makes you the ideal candidate to fix Suck Ass Mondays (TM)

(2:34:07 PM) Dude: I'll get on it, MEM.

(2:34:15 PM) MEM: I know you will... I know you will

 

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Life In Hippieville Part 2 PDF Print E-mail
Written by MrEMann   
Monday, 29 June 2009 07:48

I’m driving through downtown earlier this week, dodging the occasional MegaDouche, and got behind a SUV with a bumper sticker that read:

 

WELCOME TO BELLINGHAM, NOW GET ON YOUR BIKE.

Its not the message that was unusual. It is exactly what you'd expect to see on any given hippie-mobile around here. What was out of the ordinary was the fact that it was on a SUV.  This is the town where they throw eggs at Hummers because they kill the environment.  Now, here is a guy driving his Escalade with that bumper sticker.  In this town, you expect that kind of thing on a Smart Car, not a SUV.

NO


YES
 
You get the idea...

 So I’m driving home a couple of weeks ago, cruising along at 50 miles per hour, when some FUCKING DOUCHE in a car that looked like it was made by Little Tykes pulled out in front of me. (He probably forgot that he wasn't on his bike)  Not the brightest thing in the world, especially since my vehicle outweighed his by more than twice.

As he took off up the road, bobbing and weaving across the lane like a drunken monkey,  I noticed that he had a SAFTEY FLAG attached to his back bumper.  You know the kind people put on kids bicycles so they can be seen.   If your automobile is small and frail enough to require a FUCKING SAFETY FLAG to keep from being run down in traffic, then you need to keep the hell off the road.
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Last Updated on Monday, 29 June 2009 07:53
 
Now ^NOT^ to get yourself into trouble using less than 5 sentences. PDF Print E-mail
Written by MrEMann   
Monday, 29 June 2009 07:06

Part 1

 Paying attention is always important.  It is often the little things that get you.  Some of those little things are covered here, some aren’t.  This isn’t the universally definitive list, this is my list, carefully pruned and picked out of the quagmire of my brain.

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Last Updated on Tuesday, 30 June 2009 01:43
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